There are times, like this morning, that I wish I wasn’t jaded by experience. I wish I hadn’t felt a need to build walls, a fortress to protect myself from the deceptions of others. I wish that I could be open again, ready with a kind smile and free laughter.
I haven’t been that person for quite some time now. I’m older and wiser, but I’m also harsher and more cautious with that smile and laughter.
I used to be a “glass half full” kind of person. I used to look for the best in everyone. I used to enjoy every nuance of everything.
I am so guarded, now. I carry an immense amount of baggage, if I’m honest. And I have to be honest in this moment. I have to realize that those hurts are in the past, and that I’ve spent more than enough time analyzing them, tearing them apart, reliving them. It is time to let them go.
To truly live is to experience disappointment and, yes, even pain.
I exhale now, thoughts to the future. Facing forward, I need to be excited for what is to come. I need to work on myself, still, but this is a start. This release. This unloading. This letting go.
Today is not yesterday, and tomorrow is not yet here. This day is what I have been given, and it will be what I make of it. My life is my choice, my doing, my decisions. My thoughts direct my path, not the actions of some specter from my past.
As the sun rises, so I do, too. I am creating my tomorrow, today. I choose to be proactive in my own life. It is up to me to create it, my future.
I choose happiness, I choose freedom from those chains, I choose life-loving energy.
I choose to not wait anymore. I choose to not be passive in my own life. I choose to love and appreciate all that I have been given. I choose to find the good in everything, letting go of negativity.
I choose to release the negative energy that others bring into my life. I choose to release those people, and the power I’ve allowed them to have over me.
I choose to surround myself with like-minded people, people who have already chosen happiness and positivity.
I choose to be thankful, every day, for everything around me. I choose wonder and amazement. I choose love. I choose life.
I choose to support those around me who are also working on themselves. I choose to be a light in the darkness. I choose to be a beacon to a better destination.
I choose imperfection. I choose ebb and flow. I choose the unexpected and the unplanned.
I choose to be life uninterrupted.