Secrets and lies are poison. They are toxic, deadly, and destructive. We, sadly, are not immune to them, and can never build up a tolerance against them.
Why do we do it? Why do we create a circus of secrets and lies that leads us to jump through hoops and tame lions as the truth tries to swim to the surface?
I am currently watching a loved one go through hell because of someone else’s secrets and lies. I have been there, and my heart aches for this person. The anguish, pain, confusion, and fear caused by someone (whom you believed loved you) desperately trying to maintain a facade can be unbearable.
I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
The truth doesn’t just make the facade crumble. It causes it to explode with atomic force. The wake is usually far-reaching and devastating.
Why is it so hard to be honest?
Fallen out of love with someone? Leave them. Over-drawn the bank account? Tell your partner. Behind on several bills? Talk about it. Check your priorities and make an effort to straighten things out.
The truth is so simple. Secrets and lies create more work than they’re worth.
I’m not naive. I know that relationships are a many-layered thing. I know that there are nuances to the way every couple communicates. I get it.
I just don’t understand wasting precious, precious time with secrets and lies. It takes entirely too much effort in up-keep, and it usually never pays off.
I wonder if people need to be more introspective.
If we have an inkling that our partner is going to be hurt by something that we’re doing, why do we continue on with that activity? Maybe, just maybe, we need to stop and consider our own motivations for why we’re doing what we’re doing.
Is it for the thrill of having a secret? Ask ourselves why we need that thrill. What is lacking in our current situation that would create such a need?
I totally get that people change with time. I know I have. When that happens, it’s difficult to make things mesh. So, we need to ask ourselves if it’s worth it.
Is what we have worth fighting for?
Sure, the truth will cause an argument. It absolutely will be an unpleasant experience. That’s why we lie and keep secrets: to avoid the pain of finally telling the truth.
Sometimes, it can be worked through. Other times, the damage is too great.
I suppose my perspective is skewed, having been on the receiving end of said atomic bomb. Maybe it’s not as easy as I’d like to believe. Maybe I am a little naive.
Or, maybe I’m just too honest. Trial and tribulation can do that to a person.