Today would have been my son’s 16th birthday. It is bittersweet; my heart aches more on this day, the BIG day, than it usually does.
I choose to believe that he would be growing into an amazing man, showing evidence of kindness and compassion that is not seen much these days. I choose to believe that he would have my creative side, and share my love of reading. I choose to believe that he would have a sense of curiosity and would love learning as much as I do.
I choose to believe that we would have long conversations about literature, school, and even girls (or boys, for that matter). I choose to believe that he would be a fair man, an open-minded man, an intelligent man.
I will never “know” my son in that way, but this is what I choose to believe.
I, however, do know that he would not want me to wallow today. He would want me to do exactly as I have done, and that puts a smile on my face. I will celebrate the man he would have been. I will think of him today not with sorrow, but with pride.
Because that is what he would choose for me.
Happy Birthday, Bryan; mommy loves you.